A Rhapsody in Brown (or why you shouldn't be embarassed by your bowels)

Acupuncturists are fascinated with bowel movements. Any time you visit a practitioner, prepare to be asked searching questions about how often you go, when you go, whether your stools are loose or dry, or whether there are any unusual colours, smells, noises or other factors.

Why do we ask? Well the most obvious reason is it will tell us the state of your digestion, which is often a root factor in a host of other health issues. It is also not unusual for non-digestive health issues to have a knock-on effect on your digestion and defaecation.

One of the more frequent examples of this is that when we are run-down, are stools tend to be looser, and when we are stressed out, they can often dry out to little pebbles. In conditions like irritable bowel syndrome (there are different names for it in Chinese medicine, but IBS is familiar to most people), you will often see alternating diarrhoea and constipation.

Some people like me are quite happy to answer detailed questions about all manner of bodily functions, including bowel movements but I have no shame.

Others find it harder to talk about for a whole variety of reasons.

One thing I have often found helpful is referring people to a handy chart of stool consistency called the Bristol Stool Scale:



This is a handy way of bypassing discussions of 'how loose is loose', so that you can quickly identify where people are on the scale and get down to making a diagnosis and discussing a treatment plan.

It's also a good way of impressing your GP when you visit her. If she asks you 'how are your number twos today?' you can reply 'actually, it's more of a number three at the moment, though I had a six last week after a dodgy kebab.'

On the subject of colour, if your stools are bright red, it often indicates bleeding in the rectum. If they are a tarry black, it could indicate bleeding in the stomach or oesophagus. In either case, it's usually a good idea to visit your doctor to find out what's happening.

That's why I was more than a little alarmed a couple of months back when I turned to flush away that morning's offering, and saw it was bright maroon. After a moment's blind panic, I realised it was unlikely to to be the sign of a bizarre terminal illness, and a lot more to do with the beetroots I'd eaten the night before. D'oh!

Bon Appétit.